It's been a while since the last post. Obviously June 5th has come and gone. Unfortunately it was a very sad day for us. The ultrasound revealed that the baby's heart stopped beating about a week before our appointment. The doctor said that the baby did have a heartbeat at one time, but lost it around 7 weeks. Needless to say, it was heartbreaking. It's impossible to explain the sadness of knowing that you created a life and suddenly it's gone. I think the hardest part is that we'll never get to meet that little one and know who they would have been.
Since there were no signs of a miscarriage (other than the ultrasound), the Doctor gave me a choice of waiting for the miscarriage to happen naturally or having a procedure called a D&C, where they suction everything out. I opted for the D&C. The idea of waiting around for the miscarriage was just too painful. I had the D&C procedure on the 8th (the 5th was a Friday). It takes a few months for the body to "re-regulate" and get ready for a pregnancy again. It's now been a few cycles and we're ready to try again.
I'm started to get excited again about getting pregnant, but I'm also nervous, of course. It will never be the same. I learned the hard way that a positive pregnancy test doesn't necessarily mean a baby. So the next time I see two pink lines, I'm not sure how I'll feel.
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